What is holding you back from changing?

Have you got back into work after the Christmas break and feeling you wanted a change?  During the break did you you rediscover yourself under the layers of stress and exhaustion?  Did you dream of the new job, change in responsibility, improved work relationships?  But if only it was as easy as day dreaming – rather than feeling like an insurmountable mountain…  I know some clients feel like they just can’t make the change and that something is holding them back – but what?

falling off a bikeI guess this is the million dollar question and I’ve definitely not got all the answers – but I do find it is a really interesting subject and one we don’t think about very much.

Rather than pause and think about what is holding us back we often default to getting annoyed with ourselves when we don’t successfully break bad habits and start afresh.

This is particularly tough at this time of year when many of us have taken up new years resolutions and hope for new habits to arise.

So, one of the places I suggest people start is focussed journalling.  Getting really curious about a particular behaviour and writing about it.

For example, if you are feeling unconfident:

  • Can you get super curious about when you are feeling unconfident Can you journal about the specifics of when you feel your confidence slipping away?
  • What situations? For example, times of day, who you are with?
  • What are you telling yourself? What emotions are you feeling?

If you do this every day for a couple of weeks you will have much more information to look at and consider what you could do to build your confidence.

If you are avoiding conflict, feeling wiped out, feeling powerless – the focussed journalling helps you to get clearer on what is really going on for you.  Then you can develop a targeted plan to change and journal your experience of trying a new way of responding.

Get in touch if you’d like coaching help to build towards the change you want.

 

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