What can I do when an argument gets heated?

So many of us avoid #conflict at work, or get drawn in and before we know it there is a row going on.  Quickly, neither ‘side’ is listening to each other and any hope of finding a good solution is long gone.  Worse, the cycle settles in – whatever tactic – avoidance or rowing becomes the default position for individuals or teams.  This can become unbearably stressful and unproductive.  This article from @hbr gives some great suggestions When an Argument Gets Too Heated, Here’s What to Say.